I could have mohawked her pubes.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
