Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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