hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one