I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.