babies were throwing up all over the place
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize