Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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