i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
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