I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
