I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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