My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
