He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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