I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
