Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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