He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
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