I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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