I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
