Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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