Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
