i was born a porn star she said
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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