i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
