I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
