We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
