What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
