She's JV to your varsity
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
