I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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