there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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