I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
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I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
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That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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