69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
