I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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