What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
