just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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