my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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