im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
he was CRYING into my vagina
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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