i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
