I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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