dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
