I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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