I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
