i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize