my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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