so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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