hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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