In the future we'll all be gay
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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