Yo dont text me then not text me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can't talk, ducks in the car
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize