I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
