Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
