i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
