It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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