Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
