If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
