I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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