it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
