I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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