turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
