so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm always down for nudity.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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