My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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