This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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