singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
