i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
