Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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