I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize