she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
