He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
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He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
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You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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